Things Just Got a Little More Concrete

 

In January of 2013, I set foot for the first time in San Pablo La Laguna. My dad had been there just weeks before and had asked me to join them on his next trip. As I sat in one of the families’ homes on that first trip, I listened to a father, who was making about 25 quetzales (a little over $3) a day to provide for ten, say that all he wanted was for someone to help his teenage son learn. I sat there on that little plastic stool with an urgency in my heart at those words. I thought for a moment, “I could get up and move here right now!” But I quickly realized that I still had to finish my degree and there were many obstacles to overcome before something like this could happen. But from that day on, San Pablo never really left my mind and heart.

It is not that this is my favorite town in Guatemala. It is not that I love it so much that I just cannot stay away. It is simply the fact that God has put this little town on my heart, shown me that there is work to be done and children to be loved, and paved the way for me to move in that direction.

Which brings me to the present! The past twenty months have brought me through my final online courses, student teaching, graduation, and a lot of heart change; however, this was all still a sort of distant dream that was always a little bit out in the future. But things just got a little more concrete because beginning in October….I have a house!

Earlier this month, my dad took me to San Pablo and, with the help of some friends there, we were able to look at a few houses for rent. There were two that I considered a possibility but the one that I finally chose seems to be completely ideal for the work I am hoping to do. It’s bigger and nicer than I was counting on…and honestly bigger and nicer than I wanted…but I realized that I am praying that God will do big things in His big ways, so I should probably plan as if that is going to happen!

So now I have a house with a little kitchen/dining area at the entrance, a bedroom behind that, a little bathroom (that can be handicapped accessible), and a garage that can be turned into a classroom/play area for all kinds of work with kiddos. It also has a roof where I can hang my laundry, do work with kids who are a little more mobile, and spend quiet time with a pretty good view of part of the lake and the mountains surrounding. Really, it has everything I could have hoped for. And because of the size of the house, I will be able to easily store extra things for Hope for Home Ministries that are used in the work with the families in this area.

Forgive me for the photos below; these were taken in a rush (and some are screenshots from a video walk-through of the house that I am too busy and lazy to crop) for my decision making at the time, but they will help you to get the idea.

   
     

Now, even though things are more concrete, there are still many unknowns. I have access to the house in October, but we may have to make a couple of trips there to make all of the necessary changes before I move in (locks, security precautions, and finding the essential items for daily needs). Hopefully, that will go quickly, but really it depends on my dad’s schedule and everything else going on around here. I’m also trying to establish a more specific vision for what exactly I will be doing here in the beginning so that I can make that clear to those in the area and move forward with clear purpose. (I need to find out what all I can do without being an official school--at least for now--and the best way to go about it.) I also am going to be working very intentionally on language learning, as Tz’utujil is the language spoken by the majority of the people in the town. So I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom as I seek out answers and make decisions as well as wait on the Lord.

I would also appreciate prayers that tie into my last post—spiritual warfare. Praise God, I have a house and am on the way to my big move! But I am weak, foolish, cowardly, and timid on my own, and if I am not intentional about leaning on and trusting God for the victory, I will most certainly fail. And that would be absurd because..

          My God is big and my God is good.
                  There is a battle warring, and this is God’s work, not mine.
                            So the victory will be His and not mine.

There’s no room for me to make this about me.


Thank you to those who have been praying alongside of me! That is the absolute best way that you can support me, and I mean that in complete sincerity. I will continue to keep you all updated!

Declarations in the Heat of Battle

This is not how I wanted to come back to blogging. I was hoping to begin with some uplifting post that shows you all how well everything is going as I move toward San Pablo La Laguna and my work there. And it's not that things are not going well. Because in a lot of ways they are! God is already at work, paving the way and preparing my heart. But this post is not about that. At least, not in the way that you might expect. 

See, contrary to what many of us like to believe, being used by God is not always fun. And it is almost never easy. Please, do not get me wrong! In those moments when the fruit comes forth or the victories are achieved, the joy that fills far surpasses all that came before. And the fruit and the victories always come by His power alone--never ours. However, we cannot avoid the journey in between the calling and the victory. The journey that is usually made up of trials and hard work and waiting and time and pain.

But why are we taken by surprise when the difficult journey hits? Doesn't every story of victory begin with some sort of conflict? (How can there be a victory if there is nothing to be victorious over?) And don't the most powerful and far-reaching victories come from the most powerful of conflicts and the strongest opposition? (Otherwise, what defines a victory?) We see it in every movie, book, or anything with a plot line. And yet, in spite of this, many of us say 'yes' to following God, saying that we will do whatever it takes, but are shocked and broken and discouraged when the victory isn't in sight because we are smack dab in the middle of the journey.

Our problem lies in the fact that we don't recognize what following Jesus means. Maybe this has to do with some of the "health and wealth gospel" messages, but even putting that aside…I think even those of us who want nothing to do with the lies of that message still allow ourselves to cling to some extent of this idea even if only on a smaller scale. We are prepared for the victory, but often (no matter what we claim) not truly prepared for the journey. Because this life, while ultimately about the victory…is really the journey in between. And since this ultimate victory is going to be over Satan and his angels, this journey is actually a war.

Are we hearing that?... 

A war.

This has not been hidden from us. It's laid out for us in the written word, and instruction is given for how to approach it (Ephesians 6:10-20). And yet, we cover our ears and close our eyes and pretend that what we see in front of us with these naked human eyes is all there is. Or maybe we simply buy into the lies being whispered to us that tell us the same? Either way, we miss what has been clearly told to us, and so we are unprepared for the battle.

And what do those who are unprepared for battle do?

They lose.

They die.

I have known all of this for a long time. I have known about spiritual warfare and the ultimate victory that will come. My parents have taught us this as we have grown up in our home. I have heard pastors preach on this in sermons. I have read this truth in Scripture many times. And yet, a few nights ago, in spite of these truths that I know--in spite of other victories that I have been seeing in my life and in lives around me--I sat, in tears, facing just a bit of the ugliness of the journey. I sank to the floor (literally) and sobbed defeat as I thought through all that is to come in the days ahead.

The unknowns. The decisions. The loneliness. The responsibilities.

And I wanted to bail. I wanted to drop everything and just hunker down and stay in the comforts of my family's house and home and ministry. After all, I am passionate about what they are doing here, and help is needed, so it wouldn't be such a bad thing, right?

But not for a moment did God let me think that was possibly a reasonable option. It was like He just kept whispering, "Remember what I called you to? Remember that passion that I put inside of you? Remember how you said you were in, no matter what the cost, because it was more than worth it?" And I just wanted to shout, "I KNOW! I KNOW I SAID THAT! BUT NOW I WANT OUT!" But the truth is that as much as I sometimes want an 'out', I know that I could never be happy settling for less that what God is calling me to. Maybe I would learn to distract myself. Maybe I would learn to tuck a part of me away in a closet and lock the door…just grow numb and stop the feeling in some part of my heart. But I would never be happy. I'd never be full and overflowing with that joy that I am learning to know.

So I sat there and said to God through my sobs, "I won't quit. I will follow through", but even through the words, I felt defeated. And I had to know why. If I know the truth that this is a battle, but that my God holds the victory, why can I so quickly feel defeated just at the thought of what might be to come? So I started writing in my prayer journal--telling Him exactly what was on my heart--and the answer came pretty quickly. (It's hard to talk directly to God Almightly with the wrong mindset; He's got a way of gently nudging you until you are thinking and heading in the right direction--or smacking you upside the head if need be.)

I didn't hear any voice or see any miraculous sign that made me know what He was answering. It was simply that what I have known all along rose to the surface. But it was as if God lovingly said, "Hey, Brit?…Look at me, kiddo. You're buying into the enemy's very first and easiest tactic. You're buying into His lies. Once he has you sitting on the ground with doubts and fears clouding your view, you are of no more threat to him and his purposes. But those lies should have nothing on you. You were raised to know these truths (and by the way, I have them all written out for you for when you forget). You need to wipe those tears, stand back up, and pull out those truths that I have taught you."

Is it really that simple?
Yeah. It really is.
In fact, I applied it right away last night. I took every fear or doubt that I was having and applied the truths that I already know…and the lies had no ground to stand on. Now, keep in mind, the best of Satan's lies (and the only ones he really uses) are those that hold truth, but aren't the whole truth. That's why they are so easy to believe. And so hard to work past.

For example, the lies that were leaving me discouraged were the following:

You are weak.
You are an easy target.
You are foolish.
You are unqualified.
You don't know what you are doing.

The truths that I had to replace these with were the following:

I am weak...but He is strong!  

     (1 Cor. 1:25-31, Ps. 28:7, 2 Sam. 22:33, Ps. 73:26, Is. 40:31, Josh. 4:23-24, 2 Chron. 20:6, Ps. 77:13-15, Jer. 10:12-13, Rom. 4:20-21, 2 Cor. 4:7-8, ...)

I am an easy target...but God is my protector!

     (1 Cor. 10:13, Ps. 91, Rom. 8:35-39, Ps. 27, Jn. 10:11, ...)

I am foolish...but He is wise! 

     (1 Cor. 1:25-31, Is. 40:28, Deut. 32:4, James 1:5, ...)

I am unqualified...but He is more than qualified!

     (Rev. 1:8, Rev. 4:11, Jn. 1:1-3, Jn. 16:35, 1 Jn. 1:5, 1 Pet. 2:24, Is. 45:15, Heb. 1:3, 1 Tim. 3:16, Rom. 1:20, ...)

I don't know what I am doing...but God has it all figured out!

     (Jeremiah 29:11, Prov. 19:21, Rom. 8:28, Prov. 16:9, Jer. 1:5, Prov. 16:3-4, Prov. 139:16, Eph. 2:10, ...) 

Have you been there? Are you there now? (I would imagine that I am not the only one.) One of the best ways that we can prepare for battle, is to not only know these truths, but be ready to use them to refute the lies…the moment that the enemy speaks them! Maybe we can even learn to let the enemy be part of the truth speaking process. (I'm not joking!) We already said he is speaking the first part of truths, anyway, right? Let him continue speaking them, but shout the victorious part of the truth right after him!

Enemy: "You are weak"

Me: "YEAH, I am! But He is ALL-POWERFUL!

Enemy: "You are such an easy target!"

Me: "I'd be TOAST without that all-powerful God as my protector!"

Enemy: "You are foolish"

Me: "Boy, AM I! But wisdom belongs to Him!

Enemy: "You are unqualified"

Me: "Praise GOD, I am! He is oh-so-qualified, and this is a chance for Him to show it to the world!"

Enemy: "You don't know what you are doing."

Me: "MAN, am I lost! But God's got it mapped out, and I get to hang on for the ride! (Whew, that's some serious pressure off of me!)

This approach may sound silly. But I don't believe that it is. (Who knows? Maybe Satan will get tired of being a part of that truth-speaking process and back down. But be careful that he doesn't turn it around and get you thinking highly of yourself; that becomes just as disastrous as only hearing part of the truth.) I believe that declaring the whole truth is the first and most crucial part to 'fighting' this battle. If we are clinging to truth and only the truth, what can really stop us? This battle is ultimately in God's hands. He is going to win. With or without us fighting with Him. The difference is whether He wins the battle while we are sitting on our tushies (yep, I said 'tushies') on the far side of the battlefield field with tears streaking our face or whether He achieves it with us running along, full speed, right beside Him with our weapons raised and shouting victoriously!

I don't know about you, but I'd like to be a part of fighting this battle that He is carrying anyway. I simply couldn't be happy settling for less. So I'd appreciate your prayers and accountability as I learn to shout God's truths and move forward with confidence. Because sometimes I am going to forget. And sometimes I am going to need you to remind me. But I also encourage you, my Christ-following friends, to join me in doing the same. Because we are all fighting the exact same battle, and there is no room for sulking on the battlefield. Not if we are on the winning team.

Quick disclaimer: Following this approach will not mean that we never experience the attacks of the enemy. These lies are just one of his schemes. I actually suspect that once we stop sitting and crying and start declaring truth, the enemy will have all the more reason to stop us (because we will finally be of a real threat). Remember…we are still in the heat of battle! But we are fighting with the power of the Lord. So if we are recognizing and declaring these truths, we will be accepting all that He offers and we will be equipped to face that which is to come. Don't expect it to be easy. Expect it to be hard. But fight and live for the victory that you already know is to come. He paved the way so we could do so.

Ready?…...Set…...Go!